Giving Up…

“Quit or be exceptional, average is for losers”
Seth Godin
What is YOUR breaking point?  When do you throw in the towel?  How do you know it’s time to take your final bow? What tells you that it is the right time to surrender?  When do we say, enough is enough?  How do you say I’m finished?  How do you know that after running the race it’s time to step off the track and let the other ones win?  When do you finally admit that maybe your dreams were just dreams and you never really had what it takes to turn them into reality?  What devastating position do you need to be in life before you roll over and stop taking the abuse?

Petra Majdic doesn’t know the meaning of those phrases even if I had typed them in Serbian, her native tongue.  She fell off the track during a training run right before her cross-country run for the Gold at the 2010 Winter Olympics.  She fell more than 10 feet and crushed four ribs and suffered a collapsed lung. But guess what – she won the bronze.  WHAT???? Does she not know when to quit? Did she not realize that it was probably time to just surrender and admit defeat and move on?

I have seen a lot of quitters in my day. I spent over 25 years teaching voice and piano lessons and I would say that more than 75% of them quit for a variety of reasons.  Being in business since 2007 I have seen more clients up and quit than I prefer to count.  As a certified crisis intervention counselor and a member of the clergy I have witnessed people granting their biggest demons the victory.  Surrendering.  Giving in. Giving up. Quitting.

Now, let me make this one point perfectly clear:  for some of them it was the right move.  We really do need to be in tune to our situations and understand that for some it is the right move to surrender and move on.

It is heartbreaking to see too many give in. Here is a list of some of the reasons they quit:

  • They didn’t have what it takes.
  • They didn’t understand the full extent of sacrifice required to win.
  • They mis-defined success.
  • They thought it was going to come a lot quicker and decided to throw in the towel and walk away.
  • They lacked the passion, dedication, and drive that was needed to keep it moving.
  • They refused to admit when they were wrong, therefore, could not learn from their mistakes.
  • They bought in to a lie that said it was easy and quick.
  • They thought they could work their dream a few hours a week and make it work

Regardless of the reasons they quit, they did.  I have an opinion and insight concerning every single one of them and I’m here to tell you some needed to bow out!  But what really breaks my heart is that I see more Petra’s than I can count. I see more people who have within them what it takes to persevere, but THEY don’t see it or they don’t believe it. The ONLY thing that gets in their way is themselves.

I invite you to jump to our testimonials page on our website and read the first one.  Here’s a link: https://orcvirtual.com/testimonials

I used to quit easily. I have a fairly long list of regrets that can be traced back to a quitting spirit.  But several years ago I finally decided to be true to myself – and from that truth has come strength and resiliency that I never knew I was capable of having!  Here is my commitment to myself and, ultimately, to my clients and my team:

  • I have what it takes.
  • I understand the full extent of sacrifice required to win.
  • I mis-defined success at one time.
  • I thought it was going to come a lot quicker but no matter how long it takes, I will not throw in the towel and walk away.
  • I now have an abundance of passion, dedication, and drive that is needed to keep it moving.
  • I always admit when I am wrong, therefore, I constantly learn and grown through my mistakes.
  • I no longer buy in to the lie that said it was easy and quick.
  • I know I have to work long hours to make this work
  • I will stand on that podium, broken and bruised and tattered and torn but all will know that I ran the race hard, fast and continuously until I crossed that finish line.

I am not a quitter.

Coping with Fear – A Response to Parkland Florida School Shooting

I can barely wrap my brain around the horrible news, sounds, and sights of the latest of the school shootings.  Regardless of where you sit on the gun access issue, hopefully we can all share some common ground.  That common ground should be the concern for the safety and well-being of our children.  Our common ground should be our outrage that our kids AND teachers show up to school every day wondering if this is the day they will die.  Our teachers are committed to protecting and teaching our children and each day they leave their own families with anxiety and stress about threats and potential danger.  We should never send our kids to school with an undercurrent of fear.  This isn’t healthy for our kids, our schools, our families, communities and nation.

pexels-photo-568027 (1)It is tough enough as adults to cope with these types of tragedies but how do you help kids cope?  The coping strategies we can use with our children are the same for people of all ages.

If a child shares their anxiety with you, affirm their emotions.  Don’t undermine or invalidate their fears.  Fears are real things we have to face and naming them is a huge step in learning to conquer them.  Tell them you understand and that you share some of their emotions as well.  It is important for them to know you know what fear feels like.  Help them to develop ways and words to strengthen themselves in the midst of fear and anxiety.  Talk about how they could react to a similar situation.

Don’t hide the truth.  Ask them what they are hearing and seeing at school and among their friends.  Talk about the possibilities and probabilities and then develop a plan if something was to happen.  Openly talk about the process should something like this happen in their school.  Reinforce to them that you will know about it almost immediately because your school has a system in place.  Talk about their school plan and then talk about your family plan – how you will regroup as a family after a situation.  Remind them that you are there for them and they are not alone.

Finally, talk to your kids about being kind.  This can be tough in a world that feels full of hate and violence and ugliness.  But kindness can go a long way.

Finally, help keep a sense of normalcy. Remember the difference between normalcy and complacency.  Keep your schedules, your chores, responsibilities, and the rhythm of family life.

For more information we encourage you to check out the American School Counselor Association. They have some great tips HERE.

There really is no simple, easy answer.  There isn’t an answer that we will all get behind because we all come at this issue from different perspectives.  But we must not stand by and remain silent.  We cannot allow one life to be lost in silence.  We take a stand, be heard, and continue working together to improve our communities.  We do something.

We will remember these lives: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/15/us/florida-school-victims.html

 

 

Increase Your Home Value with These Tips

dublin-famous-colorful-doors-422844I recently had a conversation with our new neighbor.  He bought the house when it was vacant and run down.  It was a huge eye sore and has now been transformed in to one of the nicest ones on the block.  I asked him for some tips and he said, when you are making improvements you need to consider the impact on the value.  He also said that in your usual maintenance of the property, you need to think the same way.  Here are some quick tips.

  1. Curb Appeal.  Did you hear that car that just drove past your house?  There’s a good chance they are looking – to buy.  If your yard is not kept nicely and is not appealing, they are likely to quickly cross your street off their ‘must see’ list.  Bring in new neighbors by showing them that the neighbors expect quality of yard care.
  2. Patio and Outdoor Space.  It doesn’t take much.  Head to Goodwill or another thrift store and look for outdoor patio furniture.  Swing by a hardware store and grab some spray paint and you have a new back yard space!
  3. pexels-photo-8724 (1)Painting.  You can paint a room and you can paint a wall – inside or outside.  The neighbor painted one column in his garden a bright orange against a light blue house.  The house stands out, looks artsy, and has a special feature.  Outside if you can’t afford to paint the whole house, consider the shutters, doors, and trim.  I nice bright white and you’ve just upgraded your property!
  4. Kitchen and Bath.  These are the two rooms that will make or break a sale.  They are also the most expensive rooms to upgrade but if you’re going to drop some money, make sure to do it right.  Consider replacing the cabinet handles and a quick paint job and it will give the space a bright, new look.

What suggestions do you have for easy home improvements that can add value to you home.  We look forward to hearing from you.

I Performed a Miracle on My Credit Report

The idmoney-card-business-credit-card-50987ea that my credit score could increase over the next couple of months is an exciting thought.  There are a lot of credit repair companies and for some people, they make sense.  We recommend you talk to Renee at http://www.creditmatters.com But if you are like many of us, you can’t afford the cost of credit repair.

You CAN repair your credit for FREE.  Here is a short list of items you would hire a Credit repair company to fix – and that you can do for free.

REMOVE INCORRECT INFORMATION FROM YOUR CREDIT FILE

You can do his yourself and that is all thanks to the Fair Credit Reporting Act.  We recommend this link for more information about that: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/clean-up-credit-report-how-to-30017.html

I had a HUGE item on my credit report that was getting in the way.  I called the creditor number listed on my credit report – and asked them to supply me with proof that this is my debt. Of course, the person on the phone tried to get me to admit it was mine but I wouldn’t cave. I was kind, generous, and friendly the entire time and said, “I believe it is my right to request that you supply me with proof that this is my debt”.  Five days later I received a notification in the mail that they are not able to comply and will be no longer attempting to collect that debt AND they will notify the credit reporting agencies.  I’m now closely monitoring to make sure it comes off my credit reports. If it does not, I have that letter to send to the credit reporting agency as proof they are reporting incorrect information.

ADVISE THAT YOU GET A CREDIT CARD

Don’t pay someone to do work you can easily do yourself.  Search for secured credit cards.  Check out the rates and choose the lowest – then find some cash to pay on the secured card.  The key to making this work, and the ONLY two ways to make this work: never have more than 30% of your credit line owed.  If your credit line is $500, you want to keep your balance due no higher than $150.  The second way to  make it work is to ALWAYS pay the minimum amount due RIGHT BEFORE THE DUE DATE. Make sure they get the money by the due date so paying it a few days early will make sure that all the banks involved have done their jobs and the funds are fully transferred.  Paying it on the day of may not actually be credited on that day.

REMOVE NEGATIVE INFORMATION EVEN IF IT IS CORRECT

credit_reportNegative items stay on your credit report for seven year and in some cases, even longer.  You can challenge them and the reporting agencies don’t like that.  But remember that THEY have rights under the Fair Credit Reporting Act as well.  They will often call your challenges as ‘frivolous’.  If they have the right to report it, it will be on your report. That’s the bottom line. Don’t panic – you have more options to credit repair.

GET RID OF OUTSTANDING DEBT ON YOUR CREDIT REPORT

If you owe it, you need to pay it.  You can fight it but if they can prove it is your debt, you will need to pay it.  Contact them and ask them if they will consider a payment schedule or a pay-off amount.

ADVISE THAT YOU GET A CREDIT CARD

Don’t pay someone to do work you can easily do yourself.  Search for secured credit cards.  Check out the rates and choose the lowest – then find some cash to pay on the secured card.  The key to making this work, and the ONLY two ways to make this work: never have more than 30% of your credit line owed.  If your credit line is $500, you want to keep your balance due no higher than $150.  The second way to  make it work is to ALWAYS pay the minimum amount due RIGHT BEFORE THE DUE DATE. Make sure they get the money by the due date so paying it a few days early will make sure that all the banks involved have done their jobs and the funds are fully transferred.  Paying it on the day of may not actually be credited on that day.

DISPUTES

Review your credit report and DETAIL in a letter why it is incorrect.  If you can supply supporting documentation, do it.  Check out the websites of each credit reporting agency for more information:

www.equifax.com    www.experian.com    www.transunion.com 

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NOTE: We are not attorneys nor do we represent one. We are not a collection agency and offer this information as information only.  Please perform your own due diligence before hiring a credit repair company or taking steps to repair your credit.

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